a device for the soul

I have to say I’m a late-comer to the whole “lolcat” phenomenon. However, after taking a peek at it and such, I came across this gem: The LOLCat Bible Translation Project. I’m not sure what I’m more amazed at: the concept itself or the fact that there’s actual work being done on it. Talk about revelations, right?

Okay… Stopping all sacrilegious, or otherwise, puns and jokes. I love the world we live in. The possibilities are endlessly surprising and head-shakingly wonderful.

Madness lurks around every corner. Any moment could mean stepping from the light of reason into the murky depths of insanity. Aren’t you the least bit curious? What will push you over the edge, or what will make you jump? Do you wake up in your well-ordered universe, seeing nothing to give you worry, to give you pause, to make you shiver? Do you get ready for work, already plotting today’s course along its path back again into sleep? What if something goes wrong? What if events outside your control upset the plan? What if you are forced to wake up and see your life from the outside; put under the microscope of cosmic indifference? Will you hide? Will you cringe? Will you laugh in lunacy? Who will you run to in confession? Who will you turn to for solace? Will you wrap yourself in comfort, reminding yourself of the good moments, the happy thoughts, the innocent nostalgia that says, “If it doesn’t matter so much, at least it will matter to you, in some small way, somewhere?” Sure, there’s nothing to worry about. There are no monsters waiting in the shadows, nothing under the bed. Death doesn’t circle over your head like vultures. You aren’t constantly one step closer to death with every breath you take, every beat of your heart, every thought in your head. It’s not like we started dying the moment we were born. (It’s not like there would be anything meaningful you could do about it, anyway, either.) Put your weary head down on your pillow and release your concerns to the realms of sleep. Things will continue on despite you, perhaps in spite of you. But, really, they can hardly be concerned with you. Is that okay? Are you still special, at least to someone, in some way?

Now, look again. Turn around. What’s stopping you from doing it? Is that really you in the mirror today, brushing your teeth? Has the cosmos set afire a new soul within that meaty vessel? What is going to set you off? What will be your breaking point? Do you have an escape plan now, after all the rationalization is over? Or will you try to go down, guns ablaze, in a torrent of fury and sound…signifying nothing?

Or do you let it go with a chuckle, a shake of the head? That’s crazy-talk. A momentary lapse. Things are right now. Back to normal. Time to get on with the day. What stupid nonsense. Oh well. You have your reasons. We all have our reasons, right? Does the universe need a reason? No time to think about that, now. No time for that. Keep it moving, now. Someone’s taking care of it; it’s no concern of yours. Of course, they’ve got your back, right? Right? Hurry up, or you’ll be late.

Why is everything a gimmick nowadays?

“Oh hey, I hardly noticed that you’re back again. Is it Bitching Time? I’m in a pretty good mood, so let’s get this going… What do you mean?”

Well, obviously you know what I mean, so no need to effect a real dialogue here.

“Stop ruining the magic, spoil-sport. That’s my job.”

Right, sorry. Anyway, why does everything that people find interesting need to be dressed up with some sort of hook, catch, or gimmick?

“You are making pretty sweeping and generalizing statements, you do realize, right?”

I suppose, but I read in magazines for writers that the first few pages really have to hook a reader in to be effective. If you really want to get “made” somehow, you have to grab attention. When do you run out of tricks? Everything gets recycled. A different face on the same person. A new way to say the same old things. Why bother, right? Seems that you lose something out of the expression in the fight to seem original, edgy, interesting.

“Are we going to bring up lipstick and pigs again?”

No, we already did that, and the context for that metaphor is a little off-base for this topic.

“Ah, point taken. So what do you expect to do? Are you just going to give up because you don’t think you have a gimmick or premise or voice that you think people won’t like or notice?”

I’m not sure. Perhaps I haven’t found it yet. I’m not sure I’ve got enough experience to rightfully say. I think I’m just overwhelmed with the task that may lay ahead, swimming against the current of such a powerful stream.

“The MAINstream, eh?”

That’s pretty corny, but I suppose you’re pretty close. Maybe I can hope for a cult following or something.

“Well, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself again. However, I enjoy putting your perspective back to ground level. You haven’t got the material or following here to begin fantasizing about that, I think, right? How about you just worry about writing something, THEN you can start worrying about the other stuff? Don’t worry about having or not having a gimmick. If you are concerned about finding your niche, maybe you should consider that the niche should just find you. Just do stuff and stuff will happen the way it happens.”

Thanks for that bit of ambiguity.

“Hey, that’s just how it is. Deal with it and quit bitching about it.”

But then I wouldn’t have anything to practice this little gimmick we’re partaking in, would I?

“Good point.”