a device for the soul

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Inner Monologue #2

with 2 comments

“So, you’re back again, eh?”

Yep.

“Well, it’s good to know I’m wanted. What seems to be the problem now?”

Not much different than last time, I suppose. If I’m going to try and write anything, I need to figure out what I want to write about, but I can’t.

“That seems pretty stupid. What do you want to write?”

Something that matters, in some way, maybe. It seems sort of pointless to write anything that doesn’t help people in some way.

“You want to become a fucking psychiatrist or something? Did you suddenly become some social icon that shapes culture? What do you really hope to accomplish?”

No need to be so harsh. I just figure it needs to be worthwhile for myself as well as the reader, besides just entertainment. Something with a deeper level. I don’t know.

“Well, Aesop, how do you know your message or whatever hasn’t already been said before? There’s been a lot of smarter and more influential people in the world before you popped out. How do you hope to find your little fucking niche in all that?”

I don’t know; I was hoping you could lend your advice on that there.

“Sorry, bud, but I’m here only to balance out your naive optimism and foolish idealism. The details are all yours to figure out, there.”

Then why the hell did I come to ask you, anyway?

“Perhaps when you figure that out, you’d have gotten the answers you were looking for along with it. Sort of a package deal, eh?”

Maybe.

“In any case, all I can tell you is that you better make up your fucking mind either way. Things won’t sit still for you. If you’re expecting miracles, you obviously live in some other fucking universe. And what’s wrong with writing things for entertainment? When has fun and enjoyment ever been a bad thing? Does everything have to be some sort of lesson or spiritual journey for you? God…get that stick out of your ass and just do something, for once.”

Okay, okay, already!

“Hey, if you wanted some motivation, I’m just trying to give you some, asshole. Now get moving!”

Fine! If only to shut you up for once…

“You know I can’t allow you to get the last word in.”

I know.

“Good.”

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Written by 2ndhandsoul

September 15, 2008 at 5:22 pm

Posted in formless, insanity, rant

2 Responses

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  1. Wow, that’s a perfect description of the inner conflict over, whether to blog, or not to blog. I decided to just throw myself in there – it’s not as though anyone reads it yet. I really enjoy your writing style. Sometimes inane posts can be the most honest and powerful – whereas overthinking and second guessing yourself can just take you further away from true meaning.

    teagan

    September 16, 2008 at 2:51 pm

  2. Why, thank you! When there’s nothing to lose, one can feign courage and get a little creative, now and again, eh? I like to blog to flush my brain out. It’s good to take the very thing that one thinks about doing and …uh, do it. Circular logic there, I guess. I’m glad someone’s come around to watch me flail and rant a little. 🙂

    2ndhandsoul

    September 18, 2008 at 8:23 pm


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