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Archive for the ‘tired’ Category

Keeping Your Guard Up

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Madness lurks around every corner. Any moment could mean stepping from the light of reason into the murky depths of insanity. Aren’t you the least bit curious? What will push you over the edge, or what will make you jump? Do you wake up in your well-ordered universe, seeing nothing to give you worry, to give you pause, to make you shiver? Do you get ready for work, already plotting today’s course along its path back again into sleep? What if something goes wrong? What if events outside your control upset the plan? What if you are forced to wake up and see your life from the outside; put under the microscope of cosmic indifference? Will you hide? Will you cringe? Will you laugh in lunacy? Who will you run to in confession? Who will you turn to for solace? Will you wrap yourself in comfort, reminding yourself of the good moments, the happy thoughts, the innocent nostalgia that says, “If it doesn’t matter so much, at least it will matter to you, in some small way, somewhere?” Sure, there’s nothing to worry about. There are no monsters waiting in the shadows, nothing under the bed. Death doesn’t circle over your head like vultures. You aren’t constantly one step closer to death with every breath you take, every beat of your heart, every thought in your head. It’s not like we started dying the moment we were born. (It’s not like there would be anything meaningful you could do about it, anyway, either.) Put your weary head down on your pillow and release your concerns to the realms of sleep. Things will continue on despite you, perhaps in spite of you. But, really, they can hardly be concerned with you. Is that okay? Are you still special, at least to someone, in some way?

Now, look again. Turn around. What’s stopping you from doing it? Is that really you in the mirror today, brushing your teeth? Has the cosmos set afire a new soul within that meaty vessel? What is going to set you off? What will be your breaking point? Do you have an escape plan now, after all the rationalization is over? Or will you try to go down, guns ablaze, in a torrent of fury and sound…signifying nothing?

Or do you let it go with a chuckle, a shake of the head? That’s crazy-talk. A momentary lapse. Things are right now. Back to normal. Time to get on with the day. What stupid nonsense. Oh well. You have your reasons. We all have our reasons, right? Does the universe need a reason? No time to think about that, now. No time for that. Keep it moving, now. Someone’s taking care of it; it’s no concern of yours. Of course, they’ve got your back, right? Right? Hurry up, or you’ll be late.

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Written by 2ndhandsoul

October 1, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Where Our Research Funds Are Going

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Two largest known prime numbers discovered just two weeks apart, one qualifies for $100k prize.

Nerds! Nerds, I say! To further enjoy some of the absurdity to this revelation, please follow the link explaining just what a Mersenne prime is. A number, pretty much, divisable by itself and 1, just done with a pretty-looking formula. They award money for finding this shit out. It keeps those furious brain cells from finding out useful information like cancer cures and eliminating world hunger. Let’s reward trivia! Just turn the damn thing into a game show for math nerds. At least it’d be more entertaining, right?

I guess I just don’t see the functional potential of this discovery. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m not saying it isn’t interesting, in its fashion. I’m just saying…it really doesn’t seem all that particularly special. At least not worth $100,000. That’s all I’m saying. Maybe.

Written by 2ndhandsoul

September 18, 2008 at 10:14 pm

a line is a series of points

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living
so small
only fitting
a second
at a time

seeing
so little
but ourselves
what else
can we fit?

dying
each second
a second gone
the last
of its kind

making
every moment
worth having
and giving it up
for the next

filling
the space
wasting
our time
dividing
our lives
falling
behind
and forgetting
the rest

Written by 2ndhandsoul

September 15, 2008 at 9:05 pm